hello!
We're Hannah & Ollie.
We're married, we're permanently hungry, and we got fed up of reviews that just say “lovely, 4 stars”. So we built somewhere to write down what we actually thought.
Ollie
Always orders water for the table and finishes it before the waiter has left, goes straight for the pizzas on the menu and is the reason why the dessert reviews are so well thought out.
Hannah
Pretends to look at the menu as if she hasn't searched it up before visiting and already picked what she wants. Notices the small details and will always order a cocktail (or two).
How the scoring works
Every visit is marked out of 10 across twenty separate things. Those twenty roll up into six headline categories, and each category score you see is simply the average of its parts. Nothing is weighted, nothing is fudged, if a category looks harsh, open it up and you'll see exactly which sub-score did it.
Food
The main event.
- Taste / Flavour: Does it actually taste good?
- Presentation: How it looks when it lands.
- Portion size vs price: Are you full, and was it worth it?
- Temperature: Was it served at the temperature it should be?
- Freshness / Quality: What was the quality of the ingredients?
Atmosphere
What it feels like to sit there.
- Seating comfort: Could you sit here for two hours?
- Noise level: Can you hold a conversation?
- Cleanliness: How clean were the tables, floors and (importantly) the loos?
- Vibe: How was the general feel of the place?
Service
The people looking after you.
- Speed: How quick from ordering to eating?
- Friendliness / attentiveness: Were they warm and around when needed?
- Knowledge about the menu: Could they answer questions properly?
Drinks
Soft, hot and hard.
- Quality: How good is what's in the glass?
- Pricing: Were the drinks good for their price?
- Variety: Is there something for everyone?
Practical
The boring bits that still matter.
- Location: How easy is it to get to?
- Parking: Is there somewhere to leave the car?
- Wait times: Were we queueing, and waiting for a table?
- Dietary options: Were there veggie, vegan, gluten free and allergies options?
Overall
The bottom line.
- Overall rating: What do we think the restaurant deserves?
- Recommended for: What would we recommend this for?
- Would we go back?
The house rules
- We pay for every meal ourselves. Nothing here is comped.
- We don't announce ourselves.
- One visit, one review, if we go back and it's changed, we say so in a new one.
- We score the visit we had, not the reputation the place has.
- If something goes wrong, we look at how they handled it, not just that it happened.
What's a “series”?
Sometimes we pick a chain and commit to eating at every single branch of it, then rank them worst to best. It is a silly amount of effort and easily our favourite thing on the site.
got somewhere we should try?
We take recommendations very seriously and very personally.
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